SOMETIMES YOU WIN AND SOMETIMES YOU LOSE
The other day, my daughter was telling a family friend that her soccer team won their game 4 to 0. She was excited. They had played a really good game and deserved to win. The family friend responded by saying, "Well, it really doesn't matter if you win as long as you have fun." To some degree I agree with that, however, winning does matter. Guess what? It is fun to win.
The soccer league that my daughter is in does not officially keep score, but the 4 and 5 and 6 year olds do. Yes, even at 4 years old there is a drive in the human spirit that wants to compete and win. I think we, as adults are squashing that competitive spirit. It is all supposedly in the name of self-esteem. The same types of things are being done in certain schools. Dodge ball isn't allowed because it hurts the self-esteem of the kids that aren't that good. Some schools are doing away with grades. All in the name of self-esteem.
It's insanity I say. Self-esteem is built by striving to be your best and by competing and by winning and yes even by losing. It is obtained by getting high grades. Yes, every child is special in one way or another and that is my point. One child can build self-esteem by getting A's in school. The next may build their self-esteem by being on a winning sports team. Another may have incredible artistic skills. Yet, if we don't keep score or give grades, how are the children supposed to know what skills make them special. If a child gets a C in school, they know they have to work harder to get that B or A. The next marking period, when they get that A, they realize all their hard work payed off. That is how true self-esteem is built. Telling the children they are all the same does nothing for self-esteem. It does nothing to prepare them for real life. In the workplace, you will never hear, "Everyone is a winner." The one that works the hardest, the smartest and comes up with the best idea or product is the winner.
We need to teach our children that is ok to lose as long as they learn from their mistakes and try harder next time. They need to how to win as well as how to lose. In life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. The sooner, a person can grasp this truth, the better off they will be in the future.
